Happy New Year and all that stuff…
Jan 6 2009
So the holidays were good to me. I’m still trying to figure out why Santa stopped visiting my house on Christmas back when I was around 11. I’ll assume he’s just getting lazy in his old age. Needless to say, it was a week and a half off from work, that seemed to just fly right by. Although, the holidays always bring back the memory of one of my favorite (even though it’s cheesier than the Tillamook factory) holiday songs:
Sure, it’s full of some of the biggest (and worst dressed & coiffed) artists of the mid 80′s, but it’s the lyrics that really get to me. And by “get to me”, I mean “make me laugh”. Actually one verse in particular, by the great humanitarian (and mulleted rocker) Bono. When discussing the blight and tragedy that was/is Ethopia, the compassionate singer loudly exclaims:
And the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom.
Well tonight thank God it’s them instead of you.
Yes, Bono, what better way to extoll the virtues of giving, love, peace, and kindness than to say “well, sucks to be you living in that shithole, but better you than me”. That’s the spirit.
Now I know the song was written by Bob Geldoff and Midge Ure, but it’s sort of ironic that Bono would be the one to belt that particular lyric out. As for a few other notably humorous lyrics I offer the following:
And there won’t be snow in Africa this Christmas time
(well no shit)
Where nothing ever grows
No rain nor rivers flow
Do they know it’s Christmas time at all?
(Better question: do they even give a damn about a fat man in a suit delivering toys? Cold cuts, water, fertilizer maybe.)
I don’t know why, but for some reason, for a charity song they offer up some pretty ridiculous “food for thought”. The song is basically only three verses, so it couldn’t have been a brain-cramper to write, you know. Yet this drivel is the best they could come up with? Hey, folks are starving on the other side of the globe, so raise your glass and toast them. Yep, that’s the spirit alright!!
I’ll leave you all to ponder this. Talk to you soon.
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