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The little ditty was written as a breakup note with my old computer after it crashed for the 100th-ish time. Granted it wasn’t an Apple, but I thought the names kind of lend themselves to the fact that it’s about a computer, it even reads like a actual relationship. I’m rambling…just read on:

Dear Fiona,

It’s over, and there is nothing you can do about it. I’ll miss you and remember you always, but I think I need more in order to make me happy. It’s not you it’s me. I’ve changed. I require more now, more than you are able to give me. You see, I have to say good-bye, but I just wanted to let you know that you will always be in my memories. It’s just that I’ve found another laptop and I want it, not you. It hurts me because of the history we share, but I know it’s just the way that it has to be.

Don’t get me wrong, I still care. I still remember the first time I saw your ad. It was four and a half years ago to the day. It sang to me. You seemed like my perfect match. Everything you listed in terms of ‘what you had to offer’ a man was everything I was searching for….at that time in my life. Of course, there was the photo that you so kindly included with the ad, it was amazing. You sparkled, and I couldn’t help but notice those ‘features’ you had on display for the whole world to see. Like I said, I knew you were the one for me….at that time in my life.

You have taught me so much, shown me so many firsts. You were always there for me when I needed to talk, and nobody else was around to listen. I was amazed by the wealth of knowledge you had at your disposal. I could ask you anything, and you always had the answer. The best part was, you would share and share and never get tired.

Of course, the sex was fantastic! I mean what relationship could have survived for almost five years without great sex? You showed me things and positions I never knew existed. I never knew that a girl would actually do that with an octopus, or any blunted instrument that they had at their disposal. You even showed me a brutal little trick with a cactus. OUCH!! You really blew my mind.

Throughout it all, I never cheated. Well, never that is until the last two months. It wasn’t your fault, I’d been tempted many times. I just never went through with it because you still satisfied me. I mean, sure we discussed you getting all those enhancements that you knew would catch my eye. Things like less weight to carry around, more RAM, and a bigger hard drive were what I wanted, and you were more than happy to undergo the procedures. I just couldn’t stand to see you go through with it, so I lied and told you that you were perfect just the way you were.

Besides, you haven’t been exactly honest with me either. You tried to keep it to yourself, but I know about the viruses you’ve caught in the last year. YOU SLUT!! Did you really think you could hide it? I knew there had to be a reason that you started to get sluggish and sick all the time. I’m sure you caught them at night, when I was not around. I never questioned what you did without me, until I started noticing the changes in your well-being. I can now attribute this to someone that was suffering from your afflictions. SHAME ON YOU!!

You also seemed to get more demanding as time went on, always needing updates. Constantly telling me that you “have to get this years model” of this, that, and the other. There is one thing that you seemed to forget though in this selfish quest of yours. You see a man has needs. Besides, let’s face it, you aged much quicker than either of us though you would. Lately, though it’s so much more than that. The constant arguing, usually centering around an error that you try to tell me I committed, when others we know clearly tell me you are the one to blame.

It happened again tonight. I was just sitting there minding my own business and you got so upset at me for no reason, your face turned blue in anger, and then you spouted off language that I’d never even heard before. I never thought you had it in you to be so cruel. Who can forget the countless numbers of times when I was in the middle of a deep conversation, and you just shut down completely. Honestly, you should seek some help, that kind of behavior is totally unacceptable. I’ve never given you any reason to lash out at me the way you have.

Hell, for all I know, you would probably be happier with somebody else. Somebody a little older, not as needy as myself. A person that is not so superficial, who would be happy just knowing they could turn you on. Granted, I don’t consider myself a superficial guy, in the least. I mean it’s not really about your looks at all. It really just boils down to how you are on the inside. That’s my main reason for doing this. You see the problem with people my age, we can only stay in one place for so long, and eventually we’ll need more. That’s when we’ll start looking for the proverbial ‘newer model’.

There’s something else I want you to know, as well. Even though I’m sure you will not find this fair in the least, probably even down right selfish, I’m taking everything with me. I’ve noticed one thing over the years. Everything you have you got from me, and I’ll be damned if I’m just going to let you keep it after we go our separate ways.

So there you have it, I’m making a clean break. I leave with what is mine and you leave with what is yours. That’s the way it should and must be. I won’t forget you though, like I said, we’ve been through a lot. I hope we can each find what we are looking for to make us happy. Of course, knowing myself, I’ll just be writing this letter again in another couple of years.

Take care,
Mac

This page started out as just a way to get a friend of mine fully hooked up with an Xbox 360 for as cheap as possible (barring going to any little known deal-shack on the web). Next thing I know it was given a thumbs up on Stumble. It’s intent was to include games that myself and some others in the ‘circle of friends’ have, as well as give him some good accessories to ‘complete’ the system.

That being said, do what you want with it. However, depending on where you live, read it all the way through and you’ll get everything you could possibly want AND save some cash:

Ok, here’s the deal. This is how you can get the most bang for your buck.

For accessories, you’ll need 3 things:

1) Wireless adapter to connect to the router.
2) Wireless joystick
3) Cord charger w/rechargeable battery (lasts 25-ish hours on one charge) to play and charge the wireless controller at the same time.

Here’s how you get them (there’s a trick):

Go to bestbuy.com and take advantage of their deal 10% off any game with the purchase of any accessory. Thing is you have to make 3 separate orders to take full advantage since you only get 10% off the lowest price accessory. If you schedule to pick up your order at a Best Buy store you can get all 3 orders at the same time and save about 30 bucks for all you need accessory-wise.

So basically, I’d buy:
The joystick and game Gears of War in one order
The cord charger and game Tiger Woods in another order.
Wireless adapter (for the network) & game Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter in another order.

Then get yourself:

The system, and a router. Get the $399 Premium System with wireless controller, 20 gig hard drive, and headset for Xbox Live (plus 1 month trail). Don’t be lured by the Madden deal that they offer.

Now for the router. You’re best bet is this router. It’s currently $20 off.

This brings you’re grand total of saving about $50 for about 10-15 minutes of work by placing THREE separate orders on bestbuy.com for the accessory + game deal.

Hook it all up and then set up your Xbox Live profile and you’re set. You’ll have three games that myself and the rest of the group have.

GAME ON!!!